Dear Bain & Marie

In Bain & Marie by Dan Donato


As promised, our new advice column: Dear Bain & Marie! Bain takes the first crack at this problem and Marie follows up. You can expect to hear from them a couple of times each month. Please send your original questions to info@octocog.com or message us on Instagram @octocog!

Bain & Marie: Food and Beverage Experts. Critical Critics.

Dear Bain & Marie,

When I bring wine to a party and a friend asks how much it costs, how should I respond? If it’s too inexpensive, I’ll feel cheap. If it’s too pricey, it’ll feel like I’m showing off.
-In a Wine Pickle

Dear Wine Pickle:
You shouldn’t feel badly about enjoying fine wine. In fact, you should use the price that the wine would fetch on a restaurant menu which can be around 3x what you paid at the wine shop. So, if you paid $45 for the bottle, tell your friends it’s a $135 bottle. They’ll think you’re sophisticated and refined.
– Bain

Dear Wine Pickle:
Bain, you’re a complete asshole and that’s why I divorced you. Even your slow-witted new wife would be able to catch you in that lie (assuming she’s old enough to drink wine).

Wine Pickle, let’s take a step back. You said you’re at a party with friends, right? Well, true friends won’t judge you based on how much you spend on wine. So just tell the truth. If you still feel uncomfortable, just deflect the question with an answer like “I’ll have to check the receipt later” or “It cost just the right amount”. Finally, price does not necessarily equal quality when it comes to wine. It’s more about what you like to drink. I’ve loved $10 bottles and disliked $100 bottles. Don’t get caught in the price/quality trap. Happy sipping!
– Marie